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Emerge From The Herd and you will find, contentment, joy, and peace of mind.

In 2018  I first became aware of Life Coaching and the possibility that I might have more potential than I had previously believed. I read up about it, enrolled in a few courses, devoured any information I could find on the subject, and imagined that I would shortly be setting up my own life coaching practice.

And then my life changed in the blink of an eye when my husband of thirty years took his own life just at the start of the first covid lockdown. He had suffered a few periods of depression over the years and we had always had confidence in the medical professionals and medication to do what needed to be done to get him functioning normally again. This time nothing they did (and in some cases didn’t) appeared to make any difference, and I suspect he just got tired of fighting the apparent inner battle.

All this left me with alot of questions, and due to covid, a fair amount of free time. My focus shifted from life coaching to mental health (an inappropriate term given that what is generally being referenced is mental unwellness). One of the questions, and the one which I then deemed most important, was why , on the whole, is it that the medical profession and the general field of psychology (and I acknowledge that some psychologists are themselves asking this question and looking in different directions) are rarely able to produce sustainable results when it comes to mental health issues? Why is it that many are ‘patched up’ and sent on their way till the next time?

If I thought I was going to quickly find an answer to that question I was way off the mark. Not least because when I began to  delve deeply into what’s really going on, I started to realise that I had a fair amount of work to do on my own thoughts and beliefs. Previous to this my ego had told me that I was the sane one, the strong one, the one with common sense. Oh dear, I might have been managing to hold it all together but I was way off the mark! A major overhaul of just about everything I thought I knew about myself was going to be required before I was going to be of help to others. I could have told you that I had issues with self-confidence and self-belief, but that I was a worrier, perfectionist, people-pleaser, procrastinator, and had low level anxiety (I could go on) hadn’t been apparent to me. Just as it isn’t to most people, because the world you live in looks real to you.

There were times that it all felt like too big a job, and too hard to get my head round, yet something in me wouldn’t give up, and little by little I began to see progress, more confidence, less worry, fewer mood swings leading to greater periods of happiness and contentment. But the greatest benefit I began experiencing was peace of mind, the calm which comes when thoughts cease to run like never ending on repeat recordings, this alone has vastly improved my life.

So we come to now, where the accumulation of all the work, studying, techniques and personal insights come together in such a way as to make it easier for others to grasp. I am not at the end of this exploration (and quite possibly never will be) but the time has come to share it in the hope that it might improve your life as it has mine.

 

 

 

Hi, I’m Helen Stevens, mindset mentor and creator of Emerge From The Herd.

My work combines elements from different and varied modalities including; neuroscience and neuroplasticity, life coaching, NLP, mindfullness, hypnotherapy, stress management, 3Ps, CBT, and psychotherapy & counselling. It also draws on the work of Loretta Graziano Breuning PhD which highlights the unseen influence of the mammal part of the brain within us, and how it can impact our behaviour.

Having spent some years working with herd animals I was able to grasp the validity of Dr Breunings work and understand the potential it has to unlock answers as to why so many of us suffer from thoughts of self-doubt and not-enoughness. And why we are pre-disposed to judging others and also comparing ourselves to others. Through studying Dr. Breuning’s work (her books are avaliable on Amazon)I came to realise that in some respects we have been looking in the wrong place for answers.

The overall feeling of not-enoughness seems to run deep through so many of us, yet we didn’t all have awful childhoods and traumas, mine wasn’t always a bed of roses but I was always loved and secure. I believe there are answers to be found in the behaviour of the herd, ones which lead to greater understanding, a far happier life, and the freedom of knowing we can be who we want to be.

“Life isn’t about finding yourself.

Life is about creating yourself.

 

– George Bernard Shaw